Currently Reading

Ruby

By: V C Andrews

 

Find out what all i have read this month!

Archiving...

I have done some more Achiving. Be sure to have a look at older postings. There are articles I have written, along with other things from my book.

Some Changes

Name Change:

I have changed my name. Yes that is right. No there is no change in my marital status. I just felt the need to change my identity. I am not running or hiding form anything, but like my Naomi I see the need to invent myself. Amanda McMillan is me invented as an author. I guess it is a Pseudonym. It is one that means allot to me, but only a few will understand... I will be updating more soon on my about me page...

New Character:

As anyone who knows me Naomi is a big part of my life, nit just in story on page, but so much more. Now there is another person I have created. At the moment, she is as close to me as Naomi. Her name is Carmilla Grey. I am still creating her, breathing life into her, but I feel her. I can feel her very essence... At this moment she is so much more to me than words on page, but she has become a part of me, and my dark and twisted mind. I hope she grows deeper, as I am sure she will. Already I can see a book grow around her.

Fun Site For Readers:

I found this site: Swaptree. It is a site to trade books!!!! I immediately fell in love with this site and have already been involved with 6 trades!!! It has more than just books too, but no lie that is what interests me. I am also looking into sites that let you rent books like netflix. I have found a few sites but have not picked one yet that I am ready to join. (I have to research everything I do.)

So anyway, I will be posting more about Carmilla soon...

Naomi's Lament

This is me, feeling like a dumb little girl. I pushed away the man who I care most for. Why? I am not sure yet. Call it hormones, call it female insanity, or call it anything you want. Just be sure to watch out as I topple. I may shatter once I hit the ground. I put myself up too high on the pedestal, and the fall from here will be hard.

 

 

I am lost, I am confused. I do not know where I am or where I am going. I am stuck in this crazy spiral, and can not even tell if I am moving up or down. Some days I can hardly eat and all I want to do is sleep, and then the next day I eat too much and lay in bed unable to sleep. It is like Samsara (That is the opposite of Nirvana, not the band either. Samsara is the spirals and chaos of unenlightenment).
I think I have what I want, but I can not be sure. For that matter; what is it that I want? I am too scared to hold on to the things I crave. So now I am left drowning. The life raft has to be out there; right? I can only tread water for so long. Are the things I refuse to hold onto my life rafts? Have I been lost to the sea?

Maybe I am just too proud to ask him for anything? I know I am too proud to lean on him when I need help, and too scared to let him see that. Most of all I am frightened to fall in love with him. As he accepts me for what I am, I accept him for who he is. That was one of the things that drew me to him in the first place. I would never want to change that, but it may be too late for anything now.

A little Background Information:

I run a few blogs. I love blogging and I think it has become a great asset to the information world.

I am the kind of person who has many hats. This is one reason I run so many blogs. I find it just helps me keep my thoughts separate and less confusing. The two blogs I show the most love to are in a way connected. I have one that is mostly just my insane ramblings. Insanity at it's best...

The other is more about my writings, and my book. In fact today on here I posted a rant that is from my book Life after Naomi. After posting it I thought it was owed a little back ground. not for explanation, but more... What it means to me. I thought that was more along the lines of my blog, so that is where it has been posted. The blog i post writings in is named after my book. Life With Naomi

These two blogs I guess are about half of me... I run other blogs as well but I try to keep those far form this side of me. I am such a divided person... I am surprised I stand... So anyway I was thinking if you are interested in finding out more about me, my writing, and where I came from and where I am going... This would be the way...

Now off with you... and onto to the Crazy!